How To Be Married And Happy! (2)

"... Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day... " - Ecclesiastes 9:9 TM

To be married and happy you must understand that love is a choice, not a sensation. The old Righteous Brothers' song 'You've Lost That Loving Feeling' may make your toes tap but it won't make your marriage work. 'Feeling' is the fruit, 'doing' is the root. Your will is where the solution begins. God wouldn't have commanded, 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church... ' (Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; ) or '... teach the young women... to love their husbands... ' (Titus 2:4 - that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ) if love was a feeling and not an act of your will. When the will leads, the feelings follow.

So let's correct four misconceptions about love. First, its foundation is not emotion, personality, beauty or sex - in other words, sources of pleasure. These things don't bring lasting happiness. What's needed is commitment, character and a Christ-like disposition.

Second, think you can't love your partner? Check with God. 'We love because He first loved us' (1 John 4:19 - We love Him, because he first loved us). If you're loved by God, you've got love to give, because '... love comes from God... ' (1 John 4:7 - Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. ). You don't have to initiate it; just give what has been given to you!

Third, think you've 'run out' of love? No, you've just abandoned the source: 'God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us' (Romans 5:5 - 5and hope doesn't disappoint us, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.). Tank up on the Spirit's supply and you'll have lots of love to give!

Finally, investing yourself in your partner causes even a dead love to live again. '... where your treasure is (invested), is the place you will most want to be... ' (Matthew 6:21 - for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ).